Dance me through the panic till I'm gathered safely in
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove
Dance me to the end of love
- Leonard Cohen
Thanking Dad
August 20, 2007
Dear Daddy,
Two years ago, I wrote you one of my most heartfelt letters. Today, I feel like I need to write you another one because of late, you keep showing in my dreams. Besides, it's your birthday tomorrow.
I see now that tributes to fathers are never over. In my last letter, I told you how we were doing a year after your death. I was describing to you our preparations for Onin's wedding, Arons and family's immigration to US, CIndy's hardwork because she was helping out Mama renovate the house and Carmie's new job and her relationship with Rei (which by the way is no longer existent). And then, I talked about the emotional turmoil I was going through at that moment and I said I can't complain because if complaining (or venting out your difficulties) attract more misfortunes in life, then these are things I can't afford to further have.
Well, I still miss you. It's hard to keep a dry eye while saying this. I just wanted to say I'm sorry that I still keep on calling your name unnecessarily when I should be telling you to go where peace is. Recently, I've been really, really sick and I've been crying for you to help me out. Then in my dream that night, you were telling Mama and Onin that you have willed yourself to come back to life because we were clamoring for you. That was vivid. (more…)
